1) Man and Wife r watching a Boxing match. Husb says: ‘Disgusting. It was ALL
OVER in 4 minutes’. Wife comments: “NOW you know how I Feel.?
2) Q: Which is the most dificult sport in the world to watch? Ans: Women’s
doubles tennis because nine balls bounce at a time and u r in confusion which
one to watch… Read more…
1) 5 lovly words-”i’ll top my class
4 pleasant words-’I'll work hard”
3 sweet words-”i luv studyin”
2 spl words-”my books”
1 imp word-”LATER” …
2) In india,we hav only POSTMAN,but no POSTWOMAN,why?
Bcos ,they take 9 months for DELIVERY
A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor . Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended.
Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage. Read more…
Matt Damon has been named the ‘’sexiest man alive'’ by People magazine, an honor that has been bestowed twice on his pals George Clooney and Brad Pitt. The 37-year-old actor is featured on the cover of People’s annual issue, on newsstands Friday. Damon, who is married to Luciana Bozan, said the honor came as a surprise.
‘’You gave an aging suburban dad the ego boost of a lifetime,'’ he says in a letter published in the magazine. ‘’My 9-year-old stepdaughter now thinks I’m cool - well, cooler.'’ Damon, who has a 1-year-old daughter, Isabella, with Bozan, says ‘’all the campaigning'’ by Clooney and Pitt had finally paid off.
‘’Unfortunately, after all those years out on the trail, the meet and greets, the fundraisers, the stump speeches, I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that this is a mantle I wasn’t meant to hold,'’ he says in the letter, which was signed ‘’Matty.'’ ‘’Don’t get me wrong, though. I was really shocked and happy (Lucy said I actually blushed) when I heard the news. So I can’t thank you enough for that.'’
People’s ‘’sexiest man alive'’ list began in 1985 with Mel Gibson. Others on the list: Clooney (1997 and 2006), Pitt (1995 and 2000), Denzel Washington (1996) and Johnny Depp (2003).
Damon won a screenwriting Oscar with Ben Affleck in 1998 for ‘’Good Will Hunting.'’ Both Damon and Affleck starred in the movie.He has also starred in ‘’The Departed,'’ ‘’Syriana,'’ the ‘’Ocean’s'’ franchise with Clooney and Pitt, and ‘’The Bourne Identity'’ and its two sequels.
Chile Earthquake
strong earthquake measuring 7.7 rocked arid northern Chile Wednesday sparking panic and triggering a tsunami warning for the region, officials said.
“It is a major quake,” said the director of Chile’s National Emergency Office, Carmen Fernandez.
There was no immediate information on any casualties from the quake which struck at 12:43 pm (1543 GMT) in the Chile’s dry north where fishmeal and mining are key industries.
The epicenter of the quake was said to be some 101 kilometers (63 miles) west north west of Calama, Chile and 1,260 kilometers (783 miles) north of the Chilean capital Santiago. It was felt as far away as Bolivia’s capital, La Paz, high in the Andes to the northeast.
Images on CNN from Santiago showed frightened, weeping people running onto the streets, while a massive concrete awning over a building entrance had collapsed, crushing at least two cars underneath.
An airport in Antofagasta, 1,200 kilometres (746 miles) north of Santiago, had to evacuate staff when the cement cracked, Radio Cooperativa de Santiago reported.
Damage was also reported in the northern cities of Calama and Arica which lost electrical power.
The US Geological Survey said the quake measured 7.7 Movement Magnitude.
The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center in Hawaii said the Antofagasta area warning issued earlier had effectively expired with no major or damaging waves arriving within two hours of the quake.
However, “danger to boats and coastal structures can continue for several hours due to rapid currents,” it said.
Meanwhile a separate earthquake measuring 4.5 on the Richter scale hit the western Argentine city of San Juan on Wednesday, with no injuries immediately reported. There were no initial reports of injuries or damage but panicky residents of San Juan poured into local streets, the National Earthquake Office said. Its epicenter was in western Argentina, the office said.
Earlier this year, a quake measuring 8.0 on the scale hit southern Peru, killing some 540 people and leaving another 200,000 homeless.
The Peruvian region of Ica region was hit the hardest in the August 15 quake, with the Pisco, a city of some 130,000 people, 80 percent destroyed.
Merrill Lynch will name NYSE chief John Thain as its CEO as soon as today, an insider tells the Wall Street Journal. The former Goldman Sachs president, on Merrill’s shortlist since Stan O’Neill was shown the door two weeks ago, was also under consideration for Citigroup’s top post. The move comes as something of a surprise, as Wall Streeters had focused attention on BlackRock CEO Larry Fink. Known as a consensus builder, Thain presided over major changes at NYSE, taking the company public and increasing electronic trading. He’s never been at the helm of a company with a huge stable of brokers, the Journal notes, but years of experience on mortgage bond desks before he became Goldman’s president may be a boon, given that Merrill’s losses stem from the housing market collapse. Source: Wall Street Journal
As per Arizona Range News
So how does a nice Jewish girl from Tucson hook up with a guy from New Jersey named Mark Kelly Well if the girl is Gabrielle Giffords and the guy routinely leaves Earth courtesy of NASA you meet in China four years ago on an international leadership conference Full Story
As Per Cybergolf National
Editor s Note On Tuesday night in St Augustine Fla several people took their place in the World Golf Hall of Fame The inductees included great golf course architect the late CB McDonald Australian PGA Tour pro Kel Nagle the LPGA Tour s Se Ri Pak at 30 the youngest player ever inducted into the Hall the late Joe Carr of Ireland two time U S Open winner Curtis Strange and Hubert Full Story
As Per Sun Star
THREE friends two quite well known in media circles died within a 10 day period all victims of diabetes possibly with stress The one lost a wife the second lost his job and the third his audience Full Story
As Per New York Press
I spent last night trying to pinpoint what makes British 1960s revivalist girl group The Pipettes so much more socially acceptable than British 1990s recently reunited girl group The Spice Girls The Blender Theater at Gramercy was packed Monday with surprisingly equal proportions of male and female 20 somethings who didnt blush when shelling out 18 20 for this particular dose of Full Story
As Per County Press
Students at Lynch and Hadley Murphy elementary schools took part Thursday in the World Sport Stacking Association s Stack Up and unofficially set a Guinness Book of World Record Full Story
As Per The Equinox
Larry Brown Equinox Columnist Costume parties are the best When else are you allowed to dress up like someone else and not only get away with it but have fun doing it too Costumes have always had an innate ability to limit the wearers inhibitions combine this effect with that of alcohol s known inhibitory demolishing power and you have a social cocktail that s sure to produce some very Full Story
As Per The Soccer365
Pia Sundhage has been named the new head coach of the U S Womens National Soccer Team it was announced today by U S Soccer President Sunil Gulati Sundhage 47 brings an extensive and impressive resume to the position as both a player and coach most recently as an assistant for the Chinese National Team during the 2007 FIFA Womens World Cup Full Story
As Per Cornwall Standard Freeholder
It s Thom with an h Although officially named Tom by his folks Moe the Toe and Donna Racine he took a personal liking to the embellishment at age 12 Full Story
As per The Myrtle Beach Sun News
1 Book of the Dead by Patricia Cornwell A forensic pathologist opens a practice in Charleston 2 A Lick of Frost by Laurell K Hamilton Meredith Gentry s wicked uncle presses charges against her guards 3 Playing for Pizza by John Grisham An American third string quarterback joins the Italian National Football League s Parma Panthers Full Story
Wants and needs
Female-The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship
Male-Food, sex, and beer
Communication
Female-The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner
Male-Jotting a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys
Butt
Female-The body part that all clothing manufactures makes “looks bigger”
Male-The organ of mooning and farting
Commitment
Female-A desire to get married and raise a family
Male-Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend
Entertainment
Female-A good movie, concert, play or book
Male-Anything with one ball, two fields, or three stooges
Flatulence
Female-An embarrassing byproduct of digestion
Male-An endless source of entertainment, self-expression & male bonding
Glass Ceiling
Female-The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the top in business
Male-What would really be great since that hot babe works in the office above!
Lesbian
Female-A woman who makes love to other women
Male-A woman who has sex with other women so men can get turned on
Making love
Female-The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
Male-What men have to call “boinking” to get women to “boink”
Remote control
Female-A device for changing from one TV channel to another
Male-A device for scanning through all 99 channel every 2 minutes
Taste
Female-Something you do to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good
Male-Something you do to food you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out
Thingy
Female-Any part under a car’s hood
Male-The strap fastener on a woman’s bra
Vulnerable
Female-Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another
Male-Playing ball without a cup
Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday.
Communication Skills: Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First.
Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
Valuation: Just Because It’s Not Important to You . . .
Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.
Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor.
Cooking: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
Sex: It’s For Married Couples Too.
“Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?”: Learning Why Men Lie.
Farting is never an issue - You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband…… at all times.
He takes you out to have a good time - He brings home a 6 pack and says, “What are you going to drink?”
He holds your hand in public - He flicks your ear in public.
A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad - A King size bed feels like an Army cot.
You are turned on at the sight of him naked - You think to yourself…. “Was he ALWAYS this hairy????”
You enjoyed foreplay - You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???”
He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason - He grabs your boob any chance he gets.
You picture the two of you together, growing old - You wonder who will die first.
Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy” - When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
He knows what the “hamper” is - The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.
He understands if you “aren’t in the mood” - He says, “It’s your job.”
He understands that you have “male” friends - He thinks they are all out to steal you away.
He likes to “discuss” things - He develops a “blank” stare.
He calls you by name - He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”