Fascinate (joke)
A grade school teacher in Tennessee asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his sheep. It was fascinating. ” The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.
” Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to Graceland and I was fascinated.” The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated.”
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word ‘fascinate’, so she called on him.
Little Johnny said, “My Aunt has a sweater with nine buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”
The teacher cried.
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- Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim said, “I feel j ust like a newborn baby.”
“Really? Like a newborn baby?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”