Principal to student” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette… ? ”
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* Class teacher once said :
“pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”
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once hindi teacher said….”i’m going out of the world to america..”
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“..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”
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dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..
************ ********* ********* ********* **** Read more…
PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
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CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
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A very ’straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and must be a ‘virgin’.
With this advice from her mother, the girl went to Town. After some months later, she came home to get her mother’s blessings to marry.
“Mother, I’ve met the my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn’t that being faithful?” Read more…
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife’s activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video.
They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! Read more…
Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?”
“274″ was his reply.
The doctor worriedly says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday” replies the second man. Read more…
Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?
He simply answered:
“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box.”
Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?”
The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir” . Read more…
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST- when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called “making love.”
LUST - When intercourse is called “screwing.”
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania. There really is one.
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot?
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. Read more…
Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Read more…
ALCOHOL FUNNY CAR FART : Right after you have a bunch of alcohol, you let one loose.
ASS BLASTER FART : Like an M80 exploding in your ass.
THE ATOM BOMB FART : The atom bomb fart is loud as heck, and it smells bad too. Also results in a big explosion, and everyone falls to the ground. Read more…
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child.”
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I’m not saying our new receptionist is dumb, but this is how she filled out her insurance forms:
Date of Birth: January 12, 1978
Weight: 6 pounds, 10 ounces
Height: 20 inches
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